
This mascot love triangle is NOT happening.
Mr. Met, the Mets' stately anthropomorphic baseball mascot, is on Twitter now. Fellow Twitter users, both furry and fleshy alike, welcomed him. But the Royals' lion mascot Sluggerrr took it up a rakish notch:
Hey @MrMet welcome to Twitter! BTW, can you ask Mrs. Met why she won't call me back? pic.twitter.com/MnKEbagKLQ
— Sluggerrr (@Sluggerrr) March 10, 2014
SHE WON'T CALL YOU BACK BECAUSE SHE'S MARRIED, YOU DEGENERATE SLEAZECAT. IT SAYS "MRS." RIGHT IN HER NAME. Seriously, how creepy do you have to be to bid a man welcome by making a direct and unabashed play for his wife? I bet Sluggerrr's been texting Mrs. Met constantly since they took that photo together. Step off.
@Sluggerrr she purrr-furs a real man! pic.twitter.com/grZYNk06mJ
— Mr. Met (@MrMet) March 10, 2014
That's right, a real man with a real baseball for a head. Not some perverted lion with a crown grafted onto his face and excessive consonants in his name. The Met union is strong. For every public display of sexual discontent, there is a public display of affection. Leave this marriage alone, Sluggerrr!
For previous Sluggerrr transgressions, see the hot dog incident and the (highly NSFW) stripper incident. Sluggerrr is the worst.