Above is a photograph of a woman (Candace W.) failing miserably to catch a foul ball headed her way at the Braves-Phillies game Tuesday night. While Candace W.'s struggle is front and center, SB Nation takes you inside the thoughts of those on the periphery:
"Nuh-uh. I've already lost two phones to baseballs. An overthrow to first base took my first flip phone at my nephew's tee ball game in 2005 and a Nate McLouth foul ball smashed up my Samsung in 2009. If that baseball thinks it's gonna come near this phone when I'm almost through level 318 of Candy Crush Saga, it's got another thing coming. I will punch that baseball in its goddamn mouth." - Arlan
"Baby did you read this thing about buttresses? I never really knew what those were. I like buttresses. I like just saying 'buttresses', you know? I think we should have some buttresses in our h-- WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT FLYING AROUND? IS THAT A DOVE? BABY WAS THAT A DOVE?" - Candace F.
"Avert your gaze, Richard. You're too young to see a baseball hit a lady in the upper thigh. Maybe when you're an older invisible hamster." - Lisa
"Mmm, yes. Mmmmmm." - Scott
"Dang, what's it gonna take for somebody to hit a foul ball to me? I specifically switched to row 10 this year because the dang balls were always going over my head in row 4, and now this. I specifically asked them to hit foul balls to me. Dang dang dang dang." - Morris
"Oh, perfect. Morris missed out on another foul ball. And now I'll have to write another email to every one of the Braves and every one of the Phillies asking them to hit foul balls to him. I married a child. I married a dang child." - Candace B.
"OHHHH SNAP OH SNAP THIS CHICK'S ABOUT TO GET LIT UP WITH A BASEBALL! WHO'S GOT THEIR PHONE OUT RIGHT NOW? WHO'S GOT THIS? WORLDSTAR! WOOOOORLDSTAAAAAAR!" - Louis
"Hit me. Seriously, hit me. Please. Hit me right in the nose. Anything to feel again." - Sad Kyle